thoughtvoke.

buddhist urge

In reading the Dhammapada I have been compelled to express these subsequent thoughts. Firstly my thoughts upon the emotional mechanics of love. Just to preface this entire post, I have already written a great majority of it, yet ironically I did not save it and accidentally closed it all without saving. So this post has already demonstrated to me an important lesson regarding attachment and our potential opportunity for how we may then handle such a misfortune. I will later reuse this fact to properly illustrate things regarding change.

The first topic I was compelled by was the following statement: “Hatred never ceases through hatred, only through love.” Now I want to further explore its meaning. This immediately caused me to reflect upon why it is that people who have had claimed to love one other very much, often have a permanent cessation in communication upon their separation. Such is a contradictory aspect within the human experience I find tremendously interesting and disheartening.

So now I want to analyze this statement completely both in its positive and negative sense. Since I've already stated the positive sense, what then is the negative? “Love never ceases through love, only through hatred.” I will now call this item B while I will refer to the previous version its positive counterpoint A. Now we neatly have our two items which can be quickly dealt with.

Now to talk about the infinite nature that being a conscious being entails. Every moment we possess the aspect known to us as self awareness, and this awareness requires fuel. Since we are thinking creatures, finding suitable phenomena to then supplement the thinking process then is a fundamental operation to all thinking things. Since love and hatred are both emotional operation of said thinking things and they both are essential operations pertaining to the reproductive systems of these thinking things I can then claim that the infinite loop demand present within the nature of being conscious is still a persistent logical requirement also present within its subsequent elements. After having said such a wordy sentence, I would like to simplify it by providing a simple quick example. To be aware constantly needs fuel, to be a lover also constantly requires fuel. Since they share the same requirement in maintaining their respective existences, I feel it is then rational to say that since love comes from consciousness it is its child. Children have traits right? In this example, one of loves traits passed down to it is the infinite hunger for fuel. But in making this visualization it then become very apparent that the type of fuel greatly differs between both a thinking thing and the love of such thinking thing. This help immediately provide the comfort needed to visualize and identify objects appropriately within their respective domains of existence.

So after having done that, now back to the main statement I am pulling apart for you. “Hatred never ceases through hatred, only through love.” I have labeled this statement 'A', and its converse 'B' just to save space. So if you recall, I claimed our 'A' and 'B' have infinite traits of hunger passed down to them by this thinking thing. I also said previously the type of food required to satisfy such hunger depends upon particular types of fuel! Having said that I can now safely refer to the vastly different styles of fuel regarding love and hate. So the fuel for our item 'B' refers to being love to an end. Such a negate idea to talk about, that of bring love to an end since I consider myself a very loving creature. Regardless the negativity spurred the impulse that initiated this entire post. My giant curiosity pertaining to the basis regarding why it is the case that very frequently it is that people permanently cease communication with their pasted lovers. I think seeing that both emotional states require an infinite source of fuel to supplement is quite the powerful indicator pertaining to adequately explaining why it is that such is often most frequently the case. In seeing that such a relationship goes into the negative direction 'B', it seems that in bring such love to its necessary resting place, one may then be required to structure a rational supply of infinite hatred to infinitely shun option 'A' from their consciousness. Phew, what an ugly start to this blog post! I can assure you it becomes much less darker when I make it around to Buddha's explanation of perennial joy!

So now I've finally made it to the much more positive light of this post. First I will easy you out of the darkness with a very neutral image of a perpetual motion machine. So I suppose I can illustrate this picture rather quickly since we are all very intuitively aware of the continuous cycle of our emotions. Now I immediately want to give this post some color and talk about this is a more pleasant way. Imagine each emotional mood as that of a color. Happiness for instance might be bright yellow, while anger may be a blood red. I think everyone has already done this instinctively so I have reached familiar ground! So now I may ask, what do you suspect the nature is of our emotional atmosphere? Does it tend to constantly remain a single color in all of our thinking thing days? I highly doubt that it does, and if it does I feel quite sorry for you. Ah ah! Perhaps I have just shed a bit of light as to why it is that I gravitate towards remaining within the negative regions of logical analysis. I personally am very fond of color! Now I am finding myself doing something I find rather humorous and hopefully I also hope you do as well. I am mildly chastising myself for being a negative old man.

So now to sneakily conclude what I was just carrying on about in a rather nifty way, I want to refer to what the very basis of our perpetual emotional cycle is! This is also spoken about by Buddha in the Dhammapada. At the most abstract and fundamental level what is it that passes on the characteristic of constantly doing something infinitely? What did things endlessly first? The emotions, what then gave birth to emotions? The thinking thing. What gave birth to the thinking thing? This is where Buddha makes my favorite choice of all. Rather than getting too abstract or venturing into the spiritual realm, he instead makes the very practical choice of ending his deconstruction pertaining to the logical chain associated with explaining the why. He then says the ultimate conclusion is as far as we can take things apart to then discover why it is that they do what they do, he entire basis for why things are as they are is that of change. So in the end everything rests upon the conceptual conclusion of change.

Just as I have done prior with comparing our objects A and B and how they function, it is interesting that Buddha has broken the system of dualism that is very much ingrained within my cultural manner of assessing meaning or the why to the how! Another observation, is that regarding how he can then be satisfied with leaving it at the how rather than the why. For example what came first, the chicken or the egg? Spending time on such matters is a useless waste of the fuel supporting this thinking thing. So right now I suppose what I toggle back and forth between when it is the case that I do feel compelled to ponder such silly questions is that of Buddhism and Pantheism.

Now onwards to Buddhas idea of perennial joy! So I do have to plunge you back into a bit more darkness first! The very basis for Buddhism makes the claims that being a thinking thing means that the fuel it requires in order to persist is constantly something that is not naturally available. Which is true since it is indeed the cases that we ingest food in order to continue our existence. So we are left with the infinite urge to grasp at which we do not posses. He then goes to say that this infinite grasping is one in which we will forever be yearning to gain that which is only attainable for a moment. So since that then means the majority of time we will exist in a state in which we will be enduring some form of not possessing that which provides us with complete emotional satisfaction. But wait! I said this was supposed to be a bit more darkness! It definitely appears to me that you have just gone headfirst into the deep-end of the pool! So what will now do is readjust the lens on the perspective I am talking about to then show you that joy is exactly like our logical objects 'A' and 'B' in that joy is just another child element of the thinking thing. Since such is the case it then logically follows that grasping also requires an infinite fuel source to provide for its existence! And it was just demonstrated that the act of grasping will always be at the forefront of our conscious will! But just as it is sometimes the case that the object B I previously mentioned is at the forefront of our consciousness, I have personally experienced not allowing object B to dominate my existence! So just as how one removes the need to get over a past lover, the same type of willpower can then be applied to not fixating upon the negative aspect regarding being a thinking thing!

Now that is the conclusion to the first item to introducing perennial joy. Once one really understands this has the environment in which the thinking thing endures its existence, it can be seen then that the option of conditioning a new manner of pursuing life in a way which is of the types of things which provide joy to the recipient is the most rational preference to make. Now with Buddha, he then provided a formula in which he psychologically arrived at via meditation. This insight was that of structuring oneself such that not depending upon external constantly changing (ungraspable) things or goals in which ultimately will lead to unsatisfied conditions. He also claims what leads to perennial joy for a human being is that of the meditative state. Thinking of joy in such a way is very contrary to the way I mentally envision it instinctively, as I suspect it will also be for you. Whenever I think of topics like joy and pleasure or happiness I always tend to picture fairly extreme things because those emotions are of a very extreme nature when they occur for me. So I think it is only natural for this to be a difficult conclusion to arrive comfortably at, especially considering what perennial joy is supposed to contrast, that being infinite grasping. I think my instinctive bias is entirely due to I have experienced an entire lifetime of continually grasping, but likewise I am certain I am unable to accurately quantify my entire existence to know what quantity of peace and tranquility I have been provided relative to the constant yearning for that which I do not possess.

Speaking of this constant yearning and grasping, now I can transition to my next rant. Something I've been wanting to talk about is the girl I fell absolutely in deep love with and my new found discoveries regarding my diet and exercise (because they're related)! As embarrassing as it may be, I have been thinking and reinforcing these two subjects for quite a long time. I feel that now the time has come for me to get all of these thoughts out in words and have a written recording. Falling in love was absolutely life changing for me. I happened to spontaneously find a wonderful woman to date in the midst of my mental state approaching that of what I suspect was a major depression. So in my eyes, she literally saved my life at that point in time. Given that when you are provided with a glimpse at what the wonders and glory of absolute perfection appears to be, to then only have to succumb to the same fate as all external relationships are bound to, it was indeed impermanent. Thinking about the concept of marriage and union via marriage is really one alternate example of any other potential solution humankind has developed to competing with the struggle of impermanence. It is exactly upon the same plane which all external phenomena and their relationships with one another are on.

Another thought I am very proud of is that I was able to sling this broken incomplete knowledge together right before I started to deal with my delusional disorder. I was trying to read Nietzsche, and I recall a permanent memory of my I think I forged during said time. The idea of self-overcoming and how I first started applying the logic to the art of practicing the piano. It seemed to operate fairly well yet I do believe I had already forged a similar mentality in that I previously held tightly to perfectionism and the true beauty of what I deemed aesthetically pleasing (and trust me my standards were a bit absurd). Now I do believe that was a great starting point considering that I had already somewhat started this ahead of time unknowingly. Ultimately this is a great transition point for how I want to start my next though.

Now I want to also refer to a habit I am extremely proud and thankful for developing and implementing into my lifestyle. Consistent exercise and food portion moderation! Consistent anaerobic exercise had always been a part of my life given that I was raised playing sports! I always knew the value inherent in Spartan like endurance training. Another reference to Nietzsche that I must make is that of this quote: “That which does not kill you makes you stronger.” I recall reading about such a principle being observed biologically in how our cells adapt and model themselves to counter any potential threat. I mean just think of endurance training in regards to our bodies and how we develop the capacity to endure physically strenuous tasks! It seems this logic is quite consistent with developing a physical body with can endure the rigors and struggles contained within everyday existence. These choices were also instigated by my recognition of the tremendous effect that love had upon my life. I honestly know that there is two sides to dealing with the A and B issue as a thinking thing. I definitely do not recall dealing with the B option but instead I think my mind chose instead to introduce a new option and break the binary manner of dealing with love. I think in my instance a new option was invented and included to my array of options or choices for me to then direct the current/energy of the strand of change upon. I think my new option that was introduced was option 'C' which I will label delusional. I instead of taking that tremendous energy of being fixated upon that which I grasped toward obsessively and since I didn't go completely insane, did merge this option with option B. In the process my mind created up hypothetical delusions in which I was then able to rational convince myself of, this eventually lead to me being able to disconnect myself enough from the terrible agony which was that of losing a loved one. I am starting to think I am just much more of a dark illustrator. I am not particularly proud of that fact, but I do apologize if blog has been too unpleasant to read. Regardless I want to finish this thought with the fact that ultimately it was the most beautiful experience of my existence and I would trade absolutely nothing for it. I value having been given the chance to witness this style or perspective upon being more than anything. I have also had the tremendous joy of being able to accompany my imagination and memories to the beautiful sound in learning the piano. Piano music and a few of my relationships with family members and friends are the only other things within my existence that can even begin to compete with the incredible value of my memories of you. Talk about embarrassing. I have to do this. Such idle dialogue will never cease within my mind otherwise.

cheers.

周培森