spontaneous waterfall of thoughts
So this is going to be a long winded post, but I am going to start with what spurred me to write this post. In my previous post I begun with one of the the fundamental tenants of Buddhist rational regarding how it is enduring reality as a human being. The endless grasping that is involved with traditional awareness is the nature of the ego. I am going to refer to the passage I just read this morning from the Dhammapada regarding anger, which provoked my urge to write this. So what it says is that anger is a strong emotional state that revokes ones control of their mind. Maintaining conscious control is essential to then not being directed by ones ego (the driver who frequently drives us directly into the thick traffic of suffering). So then, since it is then the case that the current of the stream of consciousness that is anger is in the direction of suffering, Buddha then advocates other modes of awareness to then strive to occupy instead. I think neurology and psychology also agree with Buddhas insights regarding how the brain directs its energy of function (as far as I know).
It has already been scientifically demonstrated how it is that neurons create series of links between one another to then transmit neurotransmitters to chemically send signals. In continually exercising a emotional response, neurons then fortify their connections to one another pertaining to the context that initialized said process. In the case of anger, the context would then be that of anger, so the brain is fortifying a neurological highway that in traveling upon causes the climate to become that of anger. Oh how beautiful, a logical linking between science and that of Buddhas insights! It isn't really that surprising to me that such a link exists between the two, considering how it was that both Buddha and scientific discovery traveled the same exact highway of logic analysis to then arrive at such conclusions. The highways sure may arrive at the same conclusion, yet the journey they both diverge into is definitely different and unique!
Firstly, I request that you consider how it was that Buddha arrived at his insights? I believe he claimed that arriving to such beautiful knowledge was through the intense practice and adaptation of meditation into his lifestyle. How then does the acquisition of knowledge differ from that of meditation? The primary difference lies within the stride involved in the manner of covering the ground of existence. The stride of acquiring knowledge is that which has a very climate of achieving goals associated within it. The stride of meditation is that which has a climate of emptiness about it. In regards to traditional awareness being that of one of a egocentric nature, the style of walking that has a climate of that of emptiness seems highly contrary to that of the manner of walking that has a climate of achieving goals. Since Buddha also claimed that the basis for existing as that of a conscious being was naturally that of our ego grasping endlessly for phenomena, the choice of adapting a style of walking that grasps instead for emptiness, would be directly contrary to ones natural inclination that their standard impulses are their most trustworthy allies within their existence.
Next I want to talk about my tremendous appreciation for my roots which were provided for me from my culture, home, friends, and finally family. I have been very critical of how it was that I was introduced to morality via religion. And I will later refer to another human being that I suspect I will continually study for the remainder of my lifetime, Frederick Nietzsche. I am going to later talk a little about him but first I want to focus on another thought I want to share.
After I had these realizations this morning, I reflected upon how very lucky it is that I have a great foundation for guiding my moral compass. After having this thought I also have been very critical and judgmental of my moral compass. I feel very proud that I have been making such a tremendous recovery from my traumatic brain injury. I also read about another suggestion provided by the Dhammapada. Now one of the suggestions is to counter an angry stream of consciousness with that of selfishness, kindness, and love. Such suggestion made me immediately realize the eerie parallel with my christian upbringing. It was another moment that led me to write this blog post in that I find such a thought incredibly valuable and I wish to share.
I also was visited by this positive feeling of pride. I believe in trying to uncondition egocentric impulses, it is imperative to then condition oneself to not ruminate upon positive ego enforcing emotions such as pride. This is where I have started to see the very practical and functional aspect to conditioning moral behavior in that doing thing that are generally understood to be that which as good moral practices have now logically demonstrated to me how it is that they can be reasonably supported by fact rather than spirituality in their necessity for providing the optimal basis for existence as a human being. Seeing the logical connections between the formals discussed within the Dhammapada relative to the factual logical conclusions provided by medical science has led me to have to say this publicly! Such has been a revelation unto me who has also had my attention redirected by having this brain injury. I have been always very highly interested in existence, consciousness, knowledge, meaning, art, beauty, and spirituality. I have come to the solid conclusion that morality is the very row for the boat of humanity to guide itself through the stream of consciousness!
I also want to say a little about my thoughts on how I think the master and slave binary (Nietzsche) demonstrates the diseased logic of traditional morality. I think much of morality is still under the basis principle guided by the logical framework of dualism. People can often tend to feel comfortable when their ego is provided with the verifiable and easily demonstrable conclusions provided by that of a dualism. Perhaps I had read about this a couple of years ago and all of these thoughts are just spilling out of me now. I have no idea where much of this material is coming from, but considering the amount of knowledge I had attempt to absorb and then go into a delusional disorder followed by a brain injury, it may well be the case that can adequately explain why it is that this spontaneous urge with this what appears to be fairly new knowledge is making such a debut. The observation I started with was: why the master and slave binary deteriorates morality and ultimately makes one sick.
I think I was taking apart myself as I was reading and trying to educate myself upon this binary and that's what guided me to my state of delusion. Of course there were many aspects of my life that were deteriorating my emotional health, but I suspect analyzing and realization of the fundamental blocks that constituted my being coming under sevrer logical attack, serves as an adequate starting point to understanding why it was that I lost access to the realm of sanity. Not really something I want to focus upon in this blog post, but I think such a conclusion helps support the previous notion I had made referring to how it is that such a fundamental system such as Descartes dualism can indeed lead one into a state of sickness.
A question I recall myself facing around 2015 I believe; I think I just arrived at a satisfactory answer today this afternoon randomly. I have been intermittently doing yoga and meditation (since I remember them both being very beneficial to my psychological health) during my period of recovery. I have been faced with the question upon reading the Dhammapada (as well as other books): should I focus so intently upon that of learning my favorite instrument the piano? Relative to everything I have been learning about not reenforcing the ego and walking with the stride of emptiness it seems quite contradictory to learn the piano. It also has caused me to reflect upon a statement from my past that has stuck with me deeply. “I think playing music just for the sake of doing something beautiful is really stupid!” I have often found myself pondering this statement because it is so closely resembles the core fundamental reason I love piano music. I love piano music because it is beautiful. I do not play piano because the mere act of playing the piano is beautiful. Such a tricky distinction it was for me to realize between those two logical insights regarding piano. Another aspect of this that made it so terribly tricky is fundamentally I consider myself to be an aestheticist. Since it is that I adore beauty, is it then the case that I do something because it is beautiful after it is then produced or does one enjoy the process of producing the beautiful object? Another chicken and egg logical puzzel.
I've yet to reach my conclusion but I am still making my way there. So another idea I remember coming across was Nietzsche's concept of self-overcoming. In being a perfectionist, I think I have an intuitive basis already built for such a philosophical concept. Upon reading about it, it was the first time I felt I was being shown the logic of why it is that such a mode of being was ideal. Some of this material I am talking about I just realized I had already organized into thoughts but I had not yet expressed any of this in a written or spoken form. As growing up as an only child I developed the habit of talking to myself. So I think I have maybe spoken some of this only not to anyone personally. So I want to publicly express these thoughts because the very act of expressing things publicly requires that I neatly organize these thoughts! Its good practice as well to refine my brain! So back to the point, my anxiety regarding learning the piano relative to the ego reenforcing nature of setting a goal and completing it and then enjoying the fruits of such labor. So how then can I combine the art of playing music with the practice of meditation? Playing music without objectives and goals! Harbor no goals or nor a learn a piece of music with the prior intention of tucking it away and neatly storing it within your bag of musical memory! What then you may ask would be the goal in learning the instrument? I love the sound! Not act of performing something beautiful!
The final thing I want to conclude upon is that of Nietzsche's friend Richard Wagner, but I think I'll save that for another potential blog post. It was an old memory I was hit by after writing this. Also another old term that I think can elude to where some of these thoughts came from was the idea of Christian Decadence, a phrase developed by Nietzsche. Old memories are popping up left and right (such as enduring living within a beautiful contradiction) as I am writing this blog post. I can definitely sense I am rambling so that is a great indication I have finished.
Cheers
周培森