eat or not eat
This is an idea that I have been grappling with and I think I just reached a pretty useful understanding to try to write about. The idea of walking the middle path in Buddhism seems a very confusing and tricky process. I was really starting to wonder about my choice of renunciation in relation to food. To aggressively focus and moderate your ingestion of food starts to rapidly appear extremely similar to the western conception of dieting for superficial reasons. Trying to logically and spiritually approach your psychology from the direction of food consumption is incredibly confusing. Psychologically abstaining from indulging in the pleasures provided by food is a incredibly powerful method of altering the atmosphere of ones thought climate. For instance, if one consistently is physiologically notified by their bodies default hunger system about the need for food, that is then an opportunity for training ones awareness for appropriately differentiating between greed or necessity. A very difficult process to distinguish and learn to moderate, but it is a very important one that is naturally part of human life.
The Buddha said that to put faith in his word that the middle path was the most efficient way to reach nirvana. Yet the Buddha and his understanding of the middle path was something like 2600 years ago. Considering this, the way of life that is now available within America is drastically different. The availability of food and things that are pleasurable is tremendously different most likely from the environmental context in which the Buddha lived. Considering this fact, I have been somewhat maneuvering around the concept of asceticism. I highly doubt that I have gotten anywhere near potentially dangerous levels in my experimentation of pushing my physical body. I do believe I think I have learned that the modern levels and practices of food consumption are excessive.
In investigating the middle path in relation to food consumption there are two fundamental extremes to in which are the beginning points of two entirely different lifestyles. In the most broad zoomed out perspective these two different paths are: eating consistently, or, intermittent fasting and not eating. First, I want to look at the worst case scenarios for both of these two paths. The first option of eating consistently, results in the worst case scenario of obesity. The second option of intermittent fasting and not eating leads to the worst case scenario of malnutrition and death. After saying this I immediately want to point out that death by starvation or malnutrition relative to death due to obesity or unhealthy levels of weight is a very one-sided story (at least in reference to my current understanding within America). Considering that fact, another consistent piece of advice I have always considered very reasonable and reliable is to always respect and acknowledge your bodies default physiological signals pertaining to what it is attempting to notify you of importance. In my youth I held this piece of wisdom quite high as a 'rule-of-thumb' or a guiding piece of wisdom. In the realm of sport and a high degree of physical activity, the instances in which my body deflected pain inducing and potentially unhealthy circumstances from my physical state was quite high. In that respect the wisdom of listening to my body and consistently relying on my default mental impulses in relation to a large amount of physical choices was very reliable and dependable. The current wave and flow of momentum of social choices pertaining to food ingestion seems to be of a very unhealthy nature, and definitely not something that resembles a middle path. In American culture I think the addiction to pleasurable substances and activities as been a growing and evolving current within the flow of American life. The middle-path that was advocated from the Buddha some like 2600 years ago came from the perspective of a man that had been exploring the practices of extreme asceticism practiced by various religious monks in India at that time trying to seek out a perfect awareness from the imperfect regular consciousness provided to their awareness. They had learned about some of the benefits that can be provided from intense self-denial of various things within life. The Buddha first in setting out as a prince from his fathers kingdom had tried learning from some of these ascetic monks and had denied himself food to the extent that he nearly starved to death. In the end he had reached the conclusion that there was a middle-path that ensured safe entry to the minds spirit the inhabit the domain of nirvana. I just feel that the middle-path that he was potentially referring to may be nearly invisible to the ordinary American, like me, who has come from the context and perspective of a life saturated and engulfed in excessive consumption and indulgence of pleasures, and in particular food, to really have any natural intuitive sense or understanding of what a middle-path may potentially resemble.
The most tricky part of this journey to me has been trying to juggle the two ideas, fasting and sexual conduct, at the same time. Fasting appears to be diametrically identical to dieting for superficial means to increase ones physical appearance for sexual reasons. The fact that sexuality can dissuade one from thinking fasting is a reasonable way to approach seeking a middle-path is very, very, confusing. I have been trying to look at it from this perspective: the triad of greed, aversion, and delusion. Training to gain an logical and emotional endurance to turn ones nose to the mental thoughts spawned by those three defilement's is best done in facing them down head-on. I do believe there is still a very real and meaningful reason behind the spiritual choice to fast. Although in the process of fasting it at time requires that you not submit to your bodies internal signal to feed it. It is important to remember that this defiant moment of choice is for spiritual development, not merely the hidden arrangement of ones subconscious desire for superficial goals. A very tricky battle indeed, and it is honestly very embarrassing to post this honestly. I do think that sharing this thought could potentially help someone, and it helps me in knowing I've organized and expressed these thoughts in a public manner.
Honestly meditation is also a extraordinary habit to help guide ones spiritual path. Another thing that I did today. Something else that has made this very confusing for me is my consistent jogging and how I have learned that it stabilizes my psychological levels of the neurotransmitters: serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. All of those are the chemicals responsible for chemical transmission between neurons. Basically they allows the wiring of the human brain to send signals fluidly. A incredibly important thing to keep at a stable level to ensure that ones brain is working in a healthy manner. But jogging also is another thing directly related to the topic of striving toward an ideal superficial aesthetic! What is it that you're after, beauty or nirvana!? Goodness, humiliating blog post. 我太不好意思了！
Cheers!
周培森